Most People Don’t Fear Failure—They Fear Change

When I think about “failure,” like having a tough conversation with a client about when to kick off a statement of work, I expect to feel fear about not getting the outcome I want. But when I pause and really check in with myself, something different emerges.

I close my eyes and imagine the conversation. I’m sitting across from the client, looking them in the eye—and what I actually feel is a tight knot in my chest, just above my heart. Not panic. Not fear of losing the deal. Just tension. And for most of my career, I would’ve ignored it. I’d push forward, prepping for the meeting by figuring out my goals, scripting my talking points, choosing an analogy to drive the message home—never once questioning the source of the discomfort in my body. I believed that anxiety was normal. That it came with the job. That it was just something I had to carry.

But recently, I started doing something different. I started listening.

Instead of brushing off the discomfort, I took a pause—just 60 to 90 seconds—and imagined the conversation again. I visualized the moment I’d be in that meeting. I looked the client in the eye in my mind’s eye and waited for images, thoughts, and words to surface.

And what I found surprised me.

The anxiety wasn’t about the outcome of the meeting. It wasn’t fear of failing to get the statement of work signed. Deep down, I knew there were still opportunities to clarify things or escalate conversations if needed. No—the real fear was something else entirely.

It was fear of not knowing.

I pictured myself fumbling through the project details, unable to confidently answer questions about timelines or dependencies. The knot in my chest wasn’t about the client. It was about me. About not being fully prepared. My mind wasn’t signaling failure—it was giving me a direction.

That subtle signal was pointing to where I needed to focus my energy. So, I listened.

I scheduled time with a coworker to review the plan in detail. I asked questions, walked through scenarios, and built the clarity I needed. And something amazing happened—not only did the anxiety melt away, but the meeting went incredibly well.

Here are 3 takeaways:

1. Your body is a compass—learn to follow it. That tightness, that discomfort, that nagging feeling? It’s not just anxiety. It’s information. Learn to pause and listen.

2. Fear often masks a need for clarity—not a fear of failure. We're not always afraid of the outcome—we’re afraid of being unprepared, uncertain, or exposed. Get curious about what’s underneath the surface.

3. Change starts with awareness, not action. Before you draft a new plan, send another email, or rehearse your pitch—pause. Create space to listen to your internal signals. They often reveal exactly what you need to move forward with confidence.

About Ryan Wallace

I help professionals and leaders break free from invisible barriers and conquer the subconscious walls that keep their biggest dreams just out of reach. By uncovering how our biochemistry and habits work against us, I empower individuals to transform self-sabotage into unstoppable momentum and unlock their full potential.

With over 20 years of experience in marketing and leadership, I’ve navigated my own struggles with self-limiting beliefs, high-stakes presentations, and challenging negotiations. Through my "Comfort to Growth Blueprint," I share actionable strategies rooted in neuroscience, psychology, and my personal journey to help others turn elusive goals into tangible achievements.

I believe that growth begins where comfort ends, and my mission is to guide individuals to disrupt self-sabotaging patterns, embrace discomfort, and thrive in transformation.

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